We beat the Hun, the Japanese
And now we’ve beaten a disease!
VE - VJ - VV DAY! (V for Virus).
But before the second wave
Sweeps us all into the grave
Don’t forget a glorious moment to inspire us!
We didn’t need the Yanks
Or brigades of Soviet tanks
To define our mighty nation with their work.
The essence of True Brit
Is to roll ourselves in shit
And pretend it’s glory, just like at Dunkirk!
So let’s all go Dunkirking
Because bugger all is working
And the situation generally is dire
And as everything gets murkier
We chaps’ll get Dunkirkier
And victoriously sink into the mire!
It’s because our Ruling Class
Can’t tell its elbow from its arse,
All these berks listed with peerages in Burke’s,
Who drawl they’ve won because they’ve dared -
Ill-equipped and unprepared -
To deny they’ve fucked things up, like at Dunkirk.
Posh, bland and mediocre,
Always in hock to their brokers,
Complacent and inept, wrapped in their perks,
They’ll still yowl of England’s Glories
(Long since sold off by the Tories)
With each fresh steaming shitrain of Dunkirks!
So let’s all go Dunkirking
Because the dying are just shirking
Whether cannon fodder or some wheezing codgers!
If our victory seems quirky
That’s because we’re so Dunkirky!
So let’s drink all night to toast our ruling bodgers!
They’ll claim the spitfire is their plane,
Churchill theirs, though Chamberlain
Is more their mark (or Churchill versus Turks)
And they then expect our thanks
When they dump the other ranks
At Gallipoli, and would have at Dunkirk
With their talent to appease
From dictators to disease
Winging the lot, pretending it’s hard work,
Unprepared and ill-equipped!
Then little people’s little ships
Save their bacon like they did once at Dunkirk.
So let’s all go Dunkirking
As our wise rulers are jerking
Around the BEF or NHS
And if you think you’re feeling perkier
You are just feeling Dunkirkier!
Dropped into one more god-almighty mess!
Because they’ll lead you to your Death
With the lies upon their breath,
Each balls-up blanked with an infectious smirk,
And this is just the latest highlight
Of our never-ending twilight
That began falling on the beaches of Dunkirk!
So let’s all go Dunkirking
Because bugger all is working
And everything they touch will turn to crap
So if you’re feeling irky
Forget it all and get Dunkirky
And blow the whole damn bankroll on an app!
Let’s all go Dunkirking
Although Nemesis is lurking!
Sucking on a Duchy Original rusk!
Hone your dirk until its dirkier
Slash your wrists to get Dunkirkier
And dance across the beaches through the dusk
And we’ll carry on Dunkirking
Until nothing more is working
To be Dunkirky-wirky’s such a lark
And then strap on that old merkin
And let’s all going Dunkirking
And reel all night Dunkirking! In the dark.