Boris Johnson, oh
Christ All-bollocking-mighty,
Here’s Boris Johnson.
Rishi Sunak’s head
Is too big for his body.
Teeth outgrew his mouth.
Dominic Raab’s face
Mirrors his charisma like
A bruised soft palate.
Michael Gove squats and
Makes the other gargoyles puke
More than rainwater.
Priti Patel? What
The actual fuck is this
Mad moron up to?
Williamson! He’s
Wiry! A shopping trolley
On three wobbly wheels.
Grant Shapps smiles, then he
Looks puzzled, then he’s solemn.
Boy with three faces.
Robert Jenrick sports
A phantom bounder’s moustache
Above Bunter lips.
Jacob Rees-Mogg. God!
Spats strapped round an umbrella,
Monocle each eye.
Dominic Cummings’
Rapist’s track suit pants. Fixed sneer.
A nation winces.
Who are the rest? Who
Cares? Spare my soul from stains of
Mediocrity.